This after-action report was initially written on Christmas Eve in 2020 and it has become a kind of tradition to have it reposted around Christmas time. Think of it as a Starfleet Christmas greeting card.
U.S.S. Ares
NCC 1650-C
Task Force Avalon, Task Group Veritas
((OOC - late on Christmas Eve, GMT+1)) Stardate 97586.8
FROM: Erein (Ensign) Taev tr’Havaran, Helm Officer, USS Ares
TO: CAPT Kass Lanae, CO USS Ares; 26th Fleet Command
SUBJ: AAR – Operation: Night(mare) B4 Xmas
Officers Involved:
ENS Taev tr’Havaran, Helm Officer, USS Ares
Mission Logistics
Location: Q’s Winter Wonderland
Objective: Protect the natives.
Status: Nobody got hurt. (probably)
Hostile Action: Lots of… shit happened.
Officer’s Report:
I was taking a walk on the deck where I have my residence, in the early morning after a night out with Sasha. I honestly like that girl. I turned around the corridor, and suddenly found myself under a glassy dome in a snowy realm. At first I thought I ended up in some Christmas holodeck program. I didn’t have any tricorder with me so I couldn’t confirm my location and I swear - I wasn’t drinking, unless Sasha’s vodka fumes somehow intoxicated me.
I was greeted by strange looking creatures. They were quite similar to Earth’s Gingerbread people. I know about gingerbread humanoid shapes cuz I spent few Christmas seasons at Yorkin’s place back in Bremen. In any case, they were quite hospitable and friendly folks. It was only then I noticed my clothes had changed and I was carrying a rifle.
As soon as they gave me a tour of their lovely Gingertown, a big snowman, called Snowking or something, and his evil snowman minions attacked them. Their civil defense assembled, while I armed my rifle. Surprisingly, rifle was shooting out some icicles. The Snowking began freezing the town. We had distracted him long enough for Gingerbread Special Division to activate some kind of ancient guardian of Gingertown, Snow-Conian.
With the help of Ginger Civil Defense and Snow-Conian, we successfully banished the Snowking. The Gingertown Mayor gave me a hat as a present. I returned back to the glass dome where I first appeared and encountered officers from Starfleet, KDF and Republic Navy. Talking to them revealed some of them were pulled into this realm as well, but many came from - different quantum realities. For example, one Starfleet officer came from a universe in which Borg decimated the Federation space almost 30 years prior, and at least one Romulan officer came from a reality where Vulcan was destroyed. As night was coming down, we proceeded to do some traditional Klingon ice fishing.
While it was productive and cooperative, collecting the fish drew out local predator - giant worm-like creature that dwelled at the bottom of the lake. The officers gathered were able to to hunt down the creature. Its meat didn’t prove digestible unfortunately Don’t ask how I know. Some impatient guy tried raw meat and fainted for few hours.
There was also…
… a slight mishap on my part.
As I shared the meal with other officers present (I got along with an Admiral from Starbase Yorktown), I was greeted by some red-dressed chap. I’d swear it was LT Sedgewick, because he had a similar costume, but this… humanoid… was well informed on all of us, especially on naught and nice things we did this year.
And just as I was going to sit down and rest, the Snowking reappeared again, with his evil minions. But with all the officers present and armed, I think we destroyed him once and for all. Before he was banished, he said that even greater evil was coming after him.
Just as we began discussing what his warning could mean, a Gingerbread messenger showed up, saying that Gingertown was attacked by another monster. This one, honestly, looked just like the Earth’s own Devil - black and with horns on his head. While he didn’t harm the Gingertown, he did trap dozen officers in some kind of branch baskets. I was able to shoot him in critical areas, but it had no effect. He disappeared with the trapped officers.
On the top of that, the town came under the attack from Borg-alike snowmen. Apparently, they came to avenge the demise of Snowking and allied themselves with the strange Borg Queen alike creature. We held the defense point for as long as possible, until the Queen herself appeared. With combined strength of remaining officers and Gingerbread Civil Defense, we defeated the Queen and her cohorts.
Just as I wanted to return to Gingertown, I suddenly appeared in the central hall of Earth Spacedock. I turned around to check my surroundings and spotted a figure in a costume. I recognized him from reports on extra-dimensional beings. He was Q. He only said one thing: “Your adventure in my Winter Wonderland is over. Take this chance to spend time with your family.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash of white light.
I thought I was still dreaming, but there I was - on ESD, still in my elf costume and a photo album in backpack which appeared on me. Not knowing what to do, I booked a shuttle for Bremen, from where I am writing this report. I am going to spend some time there in a… family visit.
Apparently, between my disappearance on Ares and appearance on ESD, only 10 minutes passed.
Personal Notes:
I swear that red costume guy was LT Sedgewick, but I don’t have any proof, save for the photos.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Signed
Erein Taev tr’Havaran
Helmsman, U.S.S. Ares
Attachment: Photo album
